Learning to say "No"

The first word many children learn to say is "no".  When a parent hears this word I imagine they feel somewhat discouraged or disappointed.  It could have been "dada", "mama" or even "yes".  But "no" is actually a very important word.  Perhaps the first word children learn, is the first word many adults forget.

Why do we feel the pressure, even from infancy, to always say "yes"?  Why are we taught that saying "no" is bad and saying "yes" is good?  Why does the church - the body of Christ - push us to be "Yes-Men/Women"?  Is this really all that God wants from us?

I realize this is difficult topic because it addresses the difference between "obedience and sacrifice", two very similar ideas.  Before I go any further, let's start at our foundation - the word of God.
I Samuel 15:22 "But Samuel replied: Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams."  (emphasis mine)

Here is a thought: The right action, at the wrong time and for the wrong reason, is the wrong action.  That is the difference between obedience and sacrifice.  In the story from which this verse was taken, Saul - King of Israel - told Samuel the reason he and his men kept some of the plunder from battle, was to give to God as a burnt offering.  That in and of itself, was a good thing.  However, in doing this, Saul disobeyed God's first command, which was to destroy everyone and everything.  How does this relate?

Saul said "yes" (to keeping sheep and livestock for an offering to God) when he should have said "no".   Even though giving a burnt offering was a "good thing", the reason he did it was wrong.  His motivation was selfish and his heart was rebellious to the Lord.  In fact, right before this conversation with Samuel, Saul had just finished building a monument to honor himself, instead of God!

How often do we do the right thing for the wrong reason?  Do you ever say yes to impress others and honor yourself, instead of God?  There is a difference between obedience (saying yes to God's voice and commands) and sacrifice (saying yes to what you/others deem to be "right" or "good" things).  Sometimes it is better to say no.


I believe learning to say no is a skill that God values.  There was a time in my life when I didn't know how to say no.  Every time I was asked to be involved, help out or volunteer I said yes.  I felt I was a good person and a good Christian because of this.  Until I realized that in saying yes to doing all this stuff, I had actually said no to being with God.

Is your "yes" to good deeds, inadvertently saying "no" to intimacy with God?