"Twenty six" I replied with a big smile - an attempt to hide my frustration.
"Well you look barely nineteen, and not old enough to be married!"
"Thanks!" I said brightly, "I'd rather look young than old!"
All weekend I had been questioned about my age and it was beginning to wear on me. For some reason, it felt like when they said I looked young, they were actually saying, "You're too young to be a writer, too young to be married, too young to be a high school teacher. You're not experienced, mature, prepared enough for all of that. How can you have anything to say?" Of course no one actually said that, but it was how I was beginning to feel.
..."maybe you could see an image consultant and she could do your makeup to make you look older."
"Older?" I thought. "Isn't the whole point of wearing makeup to make you look younger?!?" I stared blankly at the women in front of me and felt the disappointment sink in.
Are we as women never good enough just the way we are? Or will we always feel too old, too young, too fat, too skinny, too athletic, too weak, too naive, too experienced, too loud, too quiet? Can't God use us right now, exactly the way he made us?
Guess what world, I'm not going to wait until I'm 35 to speak the truth of God's word! I'm not going to depend on a head of grey hair to give me credibility as a writer. I'm not going to start pursuing my dream after a mid-life crisis. I'm going to do it now. I will write and teach boldly as a 26 year old who looks like she's barely 18! I will speak the truth to both women and men, both young and old whenever God gives me the opportunity. I will not believe the lie from the enemy that I am somehow not good enough.
1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
7 comments:
Hi! I have experienced the same thing. I'm 39 yrs old and while it's good people think I'm 25, it also has worked against me. Just a few weeks ago a woman asked me what makes me qualified to mentor women since I'm so young. I told her my age just to offer some credibility. I so agree with you. I'm not going to wait until I'm 50 to do what God has called me to do now. Great post!
Oh, Heather, YES, girl! I've gotten the "you are too young" thing my whole life too, and guess what, now I'm FORTY! I started ministering when I was 12 years old, and I haven't stopped yet. You just keep right on following you wherever HE leads. Much love, my sister.
I don't think I have ever bee accused of "looking" to young. But I agree that no matter what our age is we should continue to follow God's callings on our lives. We are only called to be faithful it "going and telling". God will handle the rest.
Hee Hee! Hi Heather! Confession everybody: I'm the one who told you to see a make up artist!!!
I'm the baddie :).
But honestly, for those of you who are just reading Heather's blog, and don't know her personally, she's really very vivacious and has a great message.
I do think when you're young you need to come off as even more professional than you usually would--if you're trying to speak to big women's groups. If you're trying to speak to university students or teens, I'd stay just the way you were!
I battle with this, too, because I look young. And it is tough. But I think increasingly churches are more open to speakers that don't fit the mold, and since so many women's ministries are mostly attended by those with gray hair, putting a young speaker in sometimes is a plus because it attracts a younger audience.
So you go for it, girl! But buy a good blazer so you look super professional anyway :).
That sounds crazy! These people must be off their rocker, to say such things! If it means anything, I don't think you look young, you have always looked older than me to myself, and I don't think I am old!
We will have to get together to catch up soon though! Maybe you could come down to my NEW house!
Have a wonderful day Heather!
AMEN sister!!!
I have to agree with Sheila. I actually had several young women speak to me, and they all looked 18! But they blew me away by what they are doing, and I want to see them succeed.
I know about the "younger" thing all too well. yes, society has this "look younger" thing. But how does that actually help us as career women?
I've been taken for younger than I really am since I was in my 20's. I also taught high school and the day before classes started my first year, some of the guys who later showed up in one of my classes tried to pick me up. :) Yep, the looks on their faces when they walked in the classroom were priceless.
Once, at a store buying a suit for my eldest son (age 18), the clerk assumed I was his sister.
And I'm so tired of having peopel say I'm too young to have grandchildren! I still get told I'm too young to have a son in his 30's.
At age 60, I decided to stop dying my hair it's natural brown and let it go grey, mostly so I would look my age and people would maybe take what I said most seriously (and maybe expect me to do less, too :)). Has it helped? Not sure, but I feel great!
Has being seen as younger stopped me in any way? No! I've been making disciples since I was in my early 20s. But I have often felt that people didn't listen to me as much as I thought they should have. Part of that is simply that I am a woman, regardless of age. Yes, i have a book planned on that. :) As women, we still do have a strike against us in the minds of some people. Looking younger than we are doesn't help with that.
And while it's "wrong", people do judge by first impressions, and like it or not, this tends to affect women more than men. No, that's not good, but it's reality.
One of my favourite shows in TV is What Not to Wear. I've seen several young women made to look more professional and more their "age" through what they wear, their hair cut, etc. Not dowdy, just strong and professional.
We have to use every tool we can. Truth is, I'm happiest in blue jeans and cowboys boots, but I know I can't wear that most of the time. I dress in what I hope will give me appropriate authority, and encourage people to listen to what I say.
In the end, who tells us it's a good thing to look young? Cosmetic companies, plastic surgeons, etc., etc.
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