A FULL TIME Job

Before working at MBCI I never really had a full time job. When I was in high school I only had one part time job and after graduation I traveled and went to University, so my jobs were always part time. And I have worked many a job...Sobeys, Moxies, Smart Set, Grace Cafe, Applebees, Summer camps, teaching at Kildonan East, Transcona Collegiate, Byron Bay High School, Mary Ryan's cafe, the city of Winnipeg...and the list goes on. However, all of those jobs were temporary...and part time. I realize now how much freedom I had, especially as a substitute teacher. If I ever had something else to do, I could just say "no"! "No, I feel like staying in bed today, thanks", "No I'm meeting a friend for coffee", "No I have things to do around the house", or just plain "No". That was the life.
However I now find myself in a position where I get up at the same time every morning and work like a crazy person all day long, come home and make dinner, walk the dog and clean the house. And I'm just like everyone else. This is what people do! Wow. No wonder my mom likes to relax at home in the evenings after a day of full time work! How did she ever manage to cook us hot meals every night? How do moms do it? I'm pretty much done by the time I get home and I don't even have kids! Wow.
So maybe full time isn't for everyone. Maybe there's another way to do life that allows more time for reflection, relaxation and relationship. Maybe we could do without a few things for the sake of health and sanity. Maybe.

September is Over

In September
I started a new job at MBCI teaching Gr.11 English and Gr.10 English and Bible
I threw my back out which made me realize I'm getting older
I bought a new chair for my living room
I realized that my puppy is no longer a puppy, but a full grown dog
I went to work early and stayed late more than I have in any job I've ever held
I was accepted to Providence Seminary to get my Masters in Counseling
I kept over a dozen students after class and asked them..."now why do you think you're here?" and watched their blank-stare responses
I marked over 700 papers and assignments
I made great new friends
I got addicted to the show "Brothers and Sisters"
I ate dozens and dozens of toasted tomato sandwiches with tomatoes from my garden
I thought about my past
I dreamt about my future
And now September is over and I'm looking forward to June.

"Help me to love you"

Lately I've been feeling stuck in the muck of apathy. And when I say lately I mean for the last two or three years (that sounds really long!). It all started after I got home from 6 weeks of touring with bugirl and 4 weeks of speaking at summer camps back in 2006. That experience and the whole year previous to it was probably the most exciting spiritual high of my life. In that time I learned and grew at an exponetial rate and coming out of that was one of the toughest spiritual challenges of my life.
Don't get me wrong- the last two or three years were filled with wonderful events, people, experiences and even moments with God. However I've felt, in a lot of ways, like I'm walking through a spiritual dessert.
I'm happy to say that I think I'm on the verge of exiting the dessert and entering back into the lush green of a thriving relationship with Jesus! But it's a slow process as the heat of the dessert has exhausted my spiritual energies and left me moving slowly and sluggishly towards God.
There have been several events and conversations that have helped me get through this season, but something I read the other day in a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan has given me that final push. It said this:
"The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definetely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. The Holy Spirit has to move inour lives."

I need God to help me love God.

I need God to help me want God.

My prayer has become this, "I want You God, and when I don't, help me to want You."

It lifts such a weight off my shoulders to know that I don't have to muster up the desire to love God. That God is love and because of that, He can give me love for Him and for others. This is the only way that I'll be able to take these final steps out of the burning sand and into the cool spring waiting - if He gives me the desire to run towards the One who is waiting for me in the river.

The Weeks Are Flying By

I can't beleive today is Thursday already. It feels like these last three weeks have slipped away without me realizing it. This week has been exam week so I've been supervising exams as well as marking. In the last two weeks I've read approx. 200 essays and I have 6 more to go.

With my summer break just around the corner I've been thinking about what I'd like to do with all that extra time. Here are a few things I'm planning:

1. Go to the cabin for at least two weeks and as many weekends as possible.

2. Visit Alisha in Vancouver for a weekend.

3. Weed my yard and garden on a regular basis.

4. Paint baseboards, trims and new doors in the basement.

5. Have a few cooking lessons with my Grandma's.

6. Take Bailey for a walk, run or rollerblade everyday.

7. Speak at Camp Arnes for a week.

8. Get ready for next year - my first year as a full time teacher.

9. Go camping with friends.

10. And maybe if there's time, relax and read a few good books.

Learning about Life from a Dog?

So lately I've been learning some life-lessons from our 4 month old puppy, Bailey. Here are some of the lessons that she's helping me learn:

1. Material possession like, carpet, couches, table legs, coffee tables, sweaters, jeans, shirts, underwear, socks, cables and drywall are really not what life's about. They are the treasures of earth that rust, and mould and get destroyed by puppies.

2. Patience proves itself true when one can actually stay calm as they are being bitten, head-butted, peed on, chased, chewed and barked at.

3. Dogs smell funny.

4. Life happens so fast and little turns into medium and then big before you know it. Enjoy each stage cuz you can't get em back.

5. I'm not ready to have kids.

Gardening

I love gardening. Or maybe what I really love is making things beautiful and the best they can be. I have a pretty nice little yard, but by flower beds were ugly when we first bought the house. They were various clumps of flowers all crowded in one area and then empty beds scattered througout the yard. So last year I combined a few of the beds and created a scalloped edge. This year I've taken every single plant out, divided it and relocated it so that they are all evenly dispersed and ready to bloom and look beautiful. And I've done it all pretty much for free! All of my plants have been given to me by my mom or my friend Adrienne's mom and I was even given a pitch fork from my friendly neighbour Philip.
There's something about going outside on a late Sunday afternoon and weeding the garden that is both calming and satisfying. Even when little Bailey is "helping" me dig up weeds and sometimes plopping herself down right on a patch of about-to-bloom Iris's, I still love it! I've also put in a veggie garden for the second year in a row and am anxiously awaiting some green (other than weeds) to sprout out of the black earth. Any day now I hope. There's nothing like fresh garden tomatoes on a piece of toasted multigrain bread covered in mayo. I can't wait.

Update on Life

Recently I've run into a few people that I don't see often and they commented on the fact that I haven't been blogging lately. I found this quite surprising because I didn't think people actually read my blog. But I was also flattered that these people were interested enough in my life to check my blog. So for those of you who do, here is a little update on my life.

I got a job! I'll be working full time at MBCI next year and I'm really excited about the potential and all that God has in store for me there. I'll be teaching Gr. 10 and 11 English and Gr. 10 bible. I've already been brainstorming ideas for how to integrate my faith and God's word into my English class (a comparison of Macbeth and Joseph - Jacob's son, not Mary's hubby) and I'm looking forward to making sure that Bible class is the highlight of my students' day. The fact that I get to teach the bible, the truth, God's inspired and revealed word, is such an honor. It's what I feel created and called to do and what motivated me to take this job.
Another part of the job that I'm looking forward to is starting two girls groups, one for Middle school and one for Sr. High. The focus of these groups will be doing service in our community, city, country and world. The foundation will be based on teaching girls about their value and identity in Christ and serving the "orphans and widows". I'm hoping that each term we will be able to have a specific focus (community, city or country) and build up to one main mission trip where we go somewhere else in the world to serve (Thailand? Africa? India? The sky is the limit).
So these are the thoughts and ideas that are motivating and inspiring me as of late.

In other news:

-Alex and Heather are searching for a new church community to join. Hoping to find a place to really get invovled, serve, be mentored and mentor others.

-Alex and Heather are back in their house and Heather is getting ready to plant her veggie garden. If only Winnipeg would warm up.

-There's a new addition to the family - Bailey Boersma, a beautiful Australian Shepherd puppy. She can sit, shake a paw, give a high five (courtesy of Heather's cousin Kathryn), lie down and almost roll over.

-Heather is loving her term position at TCI and Alex is busy with the new eavestroughing co. Need your eaves done? Call him.

So I think that covers most of it...or some of it at least. I'll try to keep you more regularily posted...like a mental dose of bran flakes...

Some Random Thoughts

Here are some of my reflections on the last week:

-Even though i spent 5 years studying to be a high school English and Drama teacher, I'm not sure it's what I want to do anymore. I'm applying to get my master's in counseling at Providence Seminary next year.
-Sometimes I have to say no! to the sweet treats that are placed in front of me. If I don't my jeans will only get tighter.
-Nothing is my own. God gave me all that I have and I want to take on the role of a steward more than an owner. It's tough.
-I want to start volunteering an evening a week somewhere. I'm not sure where, but it's something I'm looking into.
-Writing a book takes a long time. And as soon as the words are down on the page I feel they aren't sufficient to express the experiences.
-I love my husband and want to be a better wife.

A New Direction

Well now that I'm home from Australia I decided it's time to take my blog in a new direction. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future and my hopes, goals, dreams and primarily, my calling. How can I be moving forward in a way that brings me closer to fufilling the call that God has placed on my life? One of the things that I've always wanted to do and plan on doing is writing a book. Last year I started my first book which was going to be a devotional book. However, this past month, our computer hard drive crashed and nothing can be retrieved from it - thus ending the life of my devotional book. However, rather than becoming discouraged about it, I figure it wasn't what God wanted me to write. He has something else in mind. So I've decided that this blog will now be a place where I share the little lessons that God has taught me in the past and is continuing to teach me, in hopes of being an encouragment to others and also gaining practice for the future. So with that in mind I thought I'd share something I learned today.
James 2: 14-20
Check out this passage in The Message version of the bible on www.biblegateway.com

Here's what really stood out to me. The passage talks about how faith without works is dead. If we're just talking about how much we love God and believe that He is who he says he is, and we aren't doing anything about it, our faith is dead. But the reverse is true as well. If we are doing all of these great and wonderful acts and they are not rooted in our own intimate relationship with God, our actions are dead as well. So really we are stuck unless we are willing to go after God's heart on a regular basis. We can no longer hide in empty, religious talk. Nor can we depend on our service in the church, community or to our family to carry us.
Faith - Works = Death
Works - Faith = Death too
So where does that leave me? Why get out of bed in the morning unless it's to go to the throne room of the Father and hear his voice and be filled with His love and His purpose for my day. I think James would say there is no point without that.